MINDBLOWING

It still hurts when I think of you, what's worse is that I think of you all the time when I'm alone. You're just like my shadow, following me wherever I go. A part of me that I can't remove. This is actually a good sign, because I'm always afraid that I would forget you one day. I hope that day never comes. 

When I die one day, I would hope that people would shed some tears for me. Goes to show that I meant something at least. Not that noble huh, aye. That's just me. 

 Felt like a jerk. I was supposed to be remembering you yet once the part started you're at the back of my mind. All the time we've known each other, I've not put you as my first priority. You were suppose to be on my mind the whole time. I miss you and I regret having us in this situation, we were suppose to remain close remember? But sadly we did not. Well, mainly it's my fault I guess, I would gladly take the blame. Maybe if only you and I were as tight as we were you wouldn't be where you are right now. Maybe if only I would just talk to you nothing of this sort would happen. There are just too many maybes and possibilities that could happen. Maybe even if i contacted you the ending of your story would still remain unchanged. 

I blame everyone around you who did not stop you from doing things you were doing & I blame them for being so self-righteous about it. Because they know no shit about you, they thought you were like one of them out to ruin lives of their own. But no, you're not like any one of them, you used to be so bubbly and made everything negative positive. I guess all your insecurities gave in, you used to be strong and full of live, the one that everyone would run to when they need a hug. Now tell me who am I suppose to run to when I need a hug when you're not here anymore. I really really wished that you could tell me whatever that was happening in your life, because I would really really run by your side to be with you giving all the strength and courage that you need. 

We could just hide at home together if you don't wanna go out, we could help you kick all the bad habits that you had & maybe we could be best friends again. You think you know me inside out, & i guess that's maybe why you didn't contact me. DId you really think that I'm gonna just leave you there by yourself when you tell me you needed help? Did you really really think that I don't give a fuck about you? The truth is that I may say that I don't but i fucking do, & yes it's my fault for making you feel this way. 

Tell me you'll feel happier and more relieved this way, the world doesn't deserve you. You really are the most amazing person I've ever met.